Its New Years. The time to make a New Year’s Resolution that I keep for a month and then slowly forget about. More importantly, New Year’s is a time for reflection and what better time to actually sit back and reflect than being half way done with my time in Taiwan. That’s right. I have only six months left teaching. Some of you rejoice (I know my mom is out there, happy that soon I will have a return date), but I actually have found myself already getting sad over the prospect of leaving. It is not that Taiwan is always sunshine and daisies, it’s far from it. I still have weeks of loneliness and isolation in which I go to school, come home, and go to sleep all with only talking when I order dinner in town. But it’s the community and how the way of life in Taiwan is different. I have changed for the better in this less stressful environment. The weekends here aren’t used for last minute errands, but to go out in nature and lose yourself.
This blog post will be a complete tangent (which of my blog posts isn’t??) on my life in Taiwan so far. The good, the bad, and the moving.
First Weekend in Taitung to Explore
When I first moved to Taiwan for the first week it was amazing. I was experiencing new things everywhere I turned. Going to 7/11 for breakfast was even exciting if you can believe that. After a week however, it started to sink in that I was here for a year. Surrounded by my new friends and cohort during our orientation classes or as I liked to call it “Fulbright Summer Camp”, I was able to forget about the changes I would have to make to my own expectations. In the mornings it would all come back to me. Jet leg left me getting up a couple hours before the rest of my roommates the first couple weeks. Those were the times that I remember the distance from my family, the little ants that would get everywhere crawling on my laptop, and the fact that at that point I was almost entirely dependent on others – not able to read a menu without Google Translate or even talk with a business owner. I felt helpless. My new friends were there and with time and many facetimes later I started to get in the hang of life in the city. We had bikes and I felt like we ruled the city. I began to have places that I frequented and the owners would remember me. Not that it’s hard to remember one of a few foreign people in the county, but it still meant a lot.
Right when I started to feel confident in my choice to come to Taiwan, I had another curveball thrown. I was assigned my top school (yay great!), but as a result I was moving an hour away from the city to a small rural community (not so great). There were two ways to look at it. Guan shan 關山, my new home, was an escape from the city life and would give me the opportunity to build a stronger relationship with my community. 關山would also give me a location where I could only speak to around 5 people in my native language, English, limiting my ability to make friends in the town and challenging my Chinese speaking ability. Since my move to 關山, I have changed from someone who couldn’t even begin to fathom why Fulbright thought I would make a good representative of the country, let alone a teacher, to someone who seems to have found their place in a country far from home. I am saddened that I am almost halfway through my time here, but in all seriousness I can say with a 100% certainty that I will be back to Taiwan after my time as a Fulbright ETA comes to an end.
Teaching ability
I haven’t really shared my teaching experience much in these blogs. In the beginning it was to not embarrass myself as I struggled immensely. Students would ask questions in Chinese and I wouldn’t have a clue what they were asking. There were multiple times the students would specifically ask for Irene, my LET, for help rather than deal with me. I was also assigned to plan and lead a 2nd and 1st grade class at both schools. On my second day of teaching ever I was sitting across from four students for their first English class with a huge language barrier because they never had taken English before. The first class was so painful. I didn’t know I was teaching it completely alone until the morning of which left me scrambling. I ended up reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar and having them color a coloring page on the different foods. While I was teaching I had so many issues with the kids not paying attention, getting up, and literally doing anything they wanted and not being able to say that I wanted them to sit down and behave. I felt helpless and knew that my “lesson plan” that was thrown together was a waste. I recognized so many lessons that should’ve come before I started that book, like learning foods, colors, animals, or days of the week. Instead, I jumped right in. To wrap up my first week of classes I taught an all school English class telling the story of the Mid-Autumn Festival. I worked the whole week on it, creating illustrations and simple sentences I thought the kids might understand. When I finally gave the presentation, the children were not that interested at all. Swinging their legs, they stared with glazed over eyes. We ended early, with time left over and nothing more planned. My LET jumped in and began speaking in Chinese, checking their comprehension of the story. I stood there useless.
If it wasn’t for the awful beginning to my classes and teaching experience I don’t think I would love my classes as much now. Irene and I still face attitude especially from our fifth graders at 崁頂國小, but the students have begun to look forward to English class. I have been able to lead fun lessons while keeping the children on topic. I created a bribery system to keep control of my second and first grade class at 電光國小. At the beginning of every class they write their name (a great chance for them to practice writing and remembering how to spell their names) and draw a smiley face next to it (now the smiley faces have become tiny works of art usually depicting some sort of monster). If the students act up, I can erase their smiley face. They have a chance to earn it back if they begin to act better throughout the rest of class. Whoever has a smiley face still by the end of class gets a stamp on this grid. After 10 stamps, I will bring in a little surprise like a new eraser or pencil. Now even the act of standing up and going to the board with the white board eraser makes the children focus and stop acting up.
My teaching, especially in the second and first grade classes, has blossomed and its one of my biggest achievements so far in Taiwan. I plan my lessons weeks in advance with multiple activities so that if one isn’t going well, I can move to a new game that the students might find more interesting. Having taught them so often, I understand more what they enjoy and can cater classes to each groups’ interests. From songs to memory games I have taught colors, animals, holidays, shapes, and my biggest success some adjectives. My LET was skeptical when I asked her opinion on my interest to begin teaching adjectives and a small sentence structure. I taught big, small, tall, short, old, and young. Soon enough I had the kids up on their feet and doing TPR, a teaching method where you connect a word with an action to help remembering the word and its meaning. There is nothing funnier than seeing second graders start to grab their back, lean over, and pretend to have a beard when I say old, or dance around with spirit fingers when I say young. At the end of class my LET praised me on her surprise that the students were able to create sentences such as “He is old”, “She is tall”, and even “It is bigger.”
When there only seems to be one shirt you wear to school
I can better accept when I mess up a lesson or my activities don’t go over as well as I thought they would. There has been tears shed when games got too competitive, but all in all I have actually begun to enjoy the classroom more than I thought I would. I have a new respect for teachers back home because I find myself looking around and asking myself what I can add to the classroom to make it different and new for them. I get a sense of pride from my children as they run up to me shouting “Teacher Briggs, Teacher Briggs!”. Then they stop right in front of me, look up, and in a slightly out of breath voice ask me “What is your name?” or “How are you?” just to be able to use their English- whatever level they are at.
Godzilla, a top English student in my fourth-grade class, asked if he could have a conversation all in English with my LET and me. Irene and I had been having a quiet conversation about changing the next game and Godzilla wanted to be a part of it. We were surprised. I began to ask him questions that were more conversational and less like his lessons on “May I help you?” or “He is shopping in the supermarket.” He seemed a little dejected when he couldn’t understand some of my questions like "When is your birthday?" Godzilla said it was too hard and to pretty much forget he asked in the first place. Since I have been going to Chinese class I have picked up on some more vocab and was able to break the sentence down for him. Earlier in the semester, Godzilla wouldn’t have even been brave enough to ask me to speak to him more outside of class and I definitely wouldn’t have had the teaching understanding to help teach him. Now that I am more comfortable here with my position, I first repeated the question again slower, answered it myself, then and only then did I translate it into Chinese. By breaking it down, Godzilla was able to understand what I was asking and even though he doesn’t know the names of the months yet, I translated it for him so he can now answer the question by himself. It is these small wins that have that make the harder days easier.
My relationship with my LET, Irene has definitely grown this semester
I am definitely far from being the perfect teacher. Even today during one of the last all school English times at 電光國小 I planned yet another activity that took too much time. I was having all the students decorate wooden bell ornaments with markers and glitter paint. They came out great, but I may have forgotten that when given the time my students never want to finish the craft and will find more places to put paint or marker, and that when you use paint you also need time for it to dry. I now have seven ornaments all laid out on napkins taking up the empty space of my desk. If I can make it through the day without getting glitter paint on my Patagonia or laptop, I will call it a success. Thank god I did this activity on a Friday so I can leave them till Monday to dry.
Patrick, one of my second grade students who is one of the most hardworking kids I know
As you can tell just in what I have chosen to write about, the good of teaching has outweighed the bad. I know I don’t want to be a full-fledged teacher in the future, but I recognize I have a knack now for teaching children. Just as the Grinch’s heart grew 3 sizes, I think Taiwan has grown my patience level ten-fold.
Camera Skills
I have commercials and documentaries with my name on them, but I really haven’t done anything with my hands on the camera and my ideas on the screen. I didn’t come to Taiwan to teach. That was just a responsibility I would have to complete while I was here. I wanted to take the chance to travel and to experience something different than Midwestern life. To use my camera to take pictures and make videos without the pressure of finding a job and deciding my future. Fulbright offered the opportunity to live and experience culture. Looking at my months here I think I have made great strides in what I set out to do.
For one, I have seen a drastic change in my pictures. I am now completely manual on the camera, even when using my longer lens. I do admit not all the pictures I take are shown to the general public because some are duds, but for the most part I have a better ratio of good to bad. I think I have also gotten smarter and more detail orientated in the pictures I do take. I am proud of how I have learned to capture Taiwan. I still have a long way to go, especially with editing pictures in post, but I have developed my skill and forced myself to get better. My coordinator actually recently asked me to help photograph our end of the semester event in which we present to the county government and Fulbright staff. I think my improvement has stemmed from the agreement I made with myself, that I should always have my camera with me unless there are other circumstances that would impact the safety of my camera. I can’t use the excuse that I didn’t bring it and therefore be upset to have gone to event and not been able to take the quality of pictures I would’ve liked to. I have learned that in Taiwan even a simple day is a picture-perfect cultural depiction of life.
I am hoping to get more photographs of my everyday school life. The bonds I have made with my students are better than I would’ve thought possible. Sean laughs when I call them “my kids” because that’s how I have come to see the students at 崁頂國小和電光國小. They are my responsibility and my love here. I haven’t been able to capture their joy just yet as I try to walk on the boundary of being their teacher, and being a photographer. I have taken every opportunity to take pictures while they sing and participate in music competitions outside of the classroom.
I have also gotten braver in my video editing skills. I used to be fine with just being able to look on the TV and see a commercial I worked on, that was enough. Now I edit for myself. I don’t get as nervous when I am editing a video. I use it for practice. Starting off small with a video of a long weekend adventure and since then making videos on cooking classes and my students singing. I believe I have gotten stronger in making editing decisions and finding the best clips to make short videos (around 30 seconds to a minute). What will be the true challenge the rest of my time here is producing a longer film on the topic of same sex marriage in Taiwan. So far, I have filmed at both pride parades hosted in Taiwan, Taipei and Kaohsiung. I interviewed parade attendees and asked them very basic questions in Chinese, nothing too intrusive. I can now say that I have successfully led multiple interviews in a different language from my own and I was understood! Now comes the hard part – getting willing interview subjects for sit down interviews in which I would like to ask more probing questions on their relationship with their family, places of work, and their country as a result of their sexual identity. I understand that this step will be hard (especially with my limited Chinese for following what they are saying), but I think a film, albeit short film, could have a lasting impact on highlighting the change people of Taiwan’s LGBTQ community have faced as a result of the recent legalization. I even have my first interview subject!!! We haven’t set a date yet, but it’ll be during a weekend some time in Taipei! I am so excited to be continuing to move forward with this small pet project to show myself that I have the skills to make it in the film industry.
I am grateful to my Fulbright family and to Sean who have encouraged my love of pictures. Instead of getting annoyed with me stopping every little bit to capture something new, my friends point out architecture and people that they think would make for an interesting photograph. It’s because of the support from my friends and even my schools that I have been able to grow. The sixth grade teacher has made it a requirement that I accompany the choir to different events just for my pictures. At first, I wasn’t even asked to bring my camera and I brought it to practice out of habit of always having it with me. Now, whenever we go out of school I am expected to have it with me. I love that my interest in photography is supported by the community around me as they encourage me to keep following my passion. That’s what this has truly become. As much as I love teaching, I can’t see myself walking away from telling people’s stories and capturing life. I think I found what I am meant to do. I don’t know how I will get to where I want to go, but I at least know what I am supposed to do.
Personal Growth and Understanding
I am me. The only Briggs. That really hasn’t changed all that much, but I think the Briggs that grew up outside Chicago and went to Philly for school is a little more “improved” shall we say. I think my eyes have truly been opened to not only a different culture, but different ways of communication and my gratefulness with how I grew up. I have grown up in an environment where I always fit. I never would get a weird look if I walked in a room. Most people don’t get that experience. In Taiwan, I can walk into a full auditorium and be completely certain I am the only Caucasian person in the room, I might go so far as to say possibly the only foreigner. Experiencing life like this has made me more aware of how I present myself and how I interact with others. I have become more observant to see how others are interacting to try to determine what is the best way to react. Through this habit I have learned the does and don’ts of some aspect of Taiwanese culture.
When communicating, Taiwanese people are less likely to state “no”. Instead, you are more likely to hear a maybe or we can try that next time when the “next time” they are referring to never happens. Small changes like this, the social norm here, have allowed me to slowly alter my way of thinking. I have become a better team member for it, understanding what my LET or other community members are trying to say to me instead of taking their “maybe” to mean what it means back home, if that makes sense.
I have also gotten better at storytelling and learning how to better speak with someone. As a result of the language barrier, if I am speaking English, I am more direct in how I speak, going on less tangents and staying to the point of the original story to help the other person understand. In the past, my sisters always used to groan when I began to tell a story because I would take such a convoluted pathway to get to the point. Being in a non-English speaking country has enabled me to build my patience and to build my focus on the meaning I am trying to convey. The meaning and the feelings I want to give another person. I have also developed a better way to talk in which I can clarify things that are harder to understand. I am glad to have observed this change in my own speaking because it is an area, I was weaker in which can positively impact the career I hope to have in the film industry.
Another impact the language barrier has had on me as a person has been my ability to listen, truly listen to someone else. Chinese has four different tone marks, all of which could mean a completely different word. Language is more than just understanding what someone is saying, translating their words. Language is understanding the other person’s predicament and state of mind. I’ve gotten better at the feelings behind the words, if they are upset and having trouble understanding something or just saying something, they think you want to hear. It’s with listening that the true connections are built. Being able to recall the names of your director’s children that you only met once, or the vacation a coworker went on can mean a lot to someone and shows that you care to remember their lives. This isn’t my place to write that I have become the perfect person and can now build relationships with everyone and their brother. This past year has just helped me recognize what is important and what I should be working on to be a better person for others.
Being in Taiwan I have not only learned about what makes a better communicator and how to better work with others, I have also learned about myself. I have never been off on my own. I always had Morgan, my twin sister, by my side. Now I have experienced what true loneliness can feel like, going the whole day not being able to hold a real conversation in English. I thought that moving to the mountains would make me feel relaxed and it does to some extent. Moving to the mountains also made me farther from the city, farther from the constant activity of life. I realized before now I have never been far from a city. Sure I lived in the suburbs, but there was always something to do. Here in 關山, everything shuts down around 9ish. There are no bars, not that I actually drink – but no night life except for the Thursday night market hosted on the edge of town. It’s a different pace of life I am not used to. As a result, I’ve had some dark times. Times when I dread going to school and ask myself why I came to Taiwan. These times, hard though they may be, make the best times even better. Although I don’t always see it, looking at the larger picture I think accepting this chance to go abroad will help me become the person I can be. And the person I will be is preferably living near a city in the future, with the occasional trip to the rural countryside.
I have started a new habit in Taiwan that I hope I can bring back to the states, I will travel and explore every weekend. I realized that I have lived in the same town for my entire life and yet there are places near my house I have never gone. Weekend road trips aren’t as much as an option back home or at least are more a financial burden than in Taiwan, but even going to the town over would be traveling and pushing my boundaries little by little. I like who I have become and who I have chosen to surround myself with. I realized in Taiwan and on my little adventures seeing the beautiful island around me, you are only as happy and fulfilled as the people you surround yourself with and the connections you create.
10 years past, present, and future
Haven't changed much from 2010 to 2020
This past decade has seen a small 13-year-old who dreamed of being a famous actress and going to live in NYC become a young woman living in Asia with the same dream of someday getting on the silver screen just in a different way. It’s unbelievable that I have changed so much and not at all, all at the same time. I have accomplished and experienced many different things. From not only getting introduced to rowing, but then rowing at the Division one level , to working on not one, but 3 different documentaries that made it to the big screen. Even with the hardships I have experienced and the high standards I uphold for myself, I have been able to keep a smile on my face and stay optimistic with what comes my way. I am proud with who I have become.
My favorite part of looking back on how I have grown is looking at what I expected to be and have in the coming years. So…. in 10 years, I see myself happy. I will be working in the film industry in some capacity, hopefully barking orders and running the set like I own the place. I hope to be working on a crew where there are an equal number of men, women, and people of color represented. I have completed projects that speak to my values, love for people and the environment. I would like to travel as I have been able to do in Taiwan and hopefully still have a basic ability to speak Chinese. More importantly I want my family to be happy and healthy. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I hope to officially fill the role of the black sheep of the family and have both my sisters hold their doctorate title Md and PhD respectively. I am looking forward to the years to come.
Well thanks for reading this long reflection on this past year. Thank you for helping me grow into who I am today.
To the 2020’s, Here I Come
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