Teachers are held up to a different esteem in Taiwanese culture. Helping mold the future through teaching children is an honorable profession. Unlike in the US where there are teacher strikes pretty much every year because of the low salaries that should be higher, Taiwan has a full day dedicated to the celebration of Teachers. A day celebrated with eating and dancing, giving thanks to the teachers. Teacher’s day was this past Saturday, Sept. 28th. Despite all the hype over the day I didn’t get to experience it in the same way as all my fellow ETAs. Most schools gave their teachers care packages: simple snacks, a notebook, and some PX Mart (grocery store) gift cards all in a nice bag. My friend even came home with a pack of rice from her town because she teaches in Chishang, which I have mentioned before has the best rice in Taiwan. Some other ETAs were going home with colored pictures from their students and notes in both English and Chinese wishing them a happy Teacher’s Day. I feel like a child when I say I wasn’t given any of that and was jealous.
One of my schools gave me a gift certificate voucher for a small grocery store in town so I didn’t get nothing, but that was more a gift from the government as our school qualified for the voucher because of the aboriginal population. I don’t even think it’s the lack of present that made me feel left out. I can live with no gifts. I think I am more upset thinking what I could do different or am supposed to do differently for my students to appreciate me as much as my fellow ETAs’ students seem to. My students wrote cards for my LET in English and Chinese thanking her for class, but not for me, and I miss that.
Teacher’s Day, a day that should’ve been fun and exciting to experience as a teacher for the first time made me start to compare my own experiences with the other ETAs. I understand everyone’s experience will be different and that on social media you will only see the good, but I have begun to second guess my school choice, my location in Taitung City, and my teaching ability. Some days are better than others, I participate in the gym class at one of my schools on Thursdays and attend their singing practices when I don’t have a Fulbright event already. Attending these seems to help my connection with the students, but my Chinese skills still limits the relationship I can build. I am even having trouble finding a volunteer opportunity. With everything Fulbright has told us about everyone in the community being grateful we are here to teach their children I didn’t think finding a place to volunteer would put so much stress on my plate. I have eight hours of community service hanging over my head with no idea really of how to complete it. I’m hoping I might be able to pitch attending the singing practices and assisting with the music as service, but I am not optimistic. One of the ETAs in the city has begun to volunteer by helping and teaching a pottery class in the city. She gets to go in and assist with classes and be able to use any of the equipment when she wants. I don’t even know how you start a relationship like that.
I guess my volunteering will come with time. If anything I can always go 8 times and clean up trash if I can’t find a real volunteer opportunity because Taiwan is supportive of people cleaning the environment. I just hope I can find something that will let me build a better connection with my students or with a specific group here and feel like I am doing some good.
I guess that is what I am struggling with at the root of all this. I am struggling with feeling like I am not helping enough or that I am more of a hinderance than a teacher. I apologize now for this tangent rant-esque post as I try to work out all my problems. Hearing about the struggles was bound to happen at some point. And hey, I didn’t even really write that much on how my friends have had rats in their apartment and I am almost positive I let a lizard into my room last night and haven’t been able to find it. I think one post where I am struggling compared to the multitude of entries on my weekend adventures will even out. Anyways, some classes go better than others. I feel more confident in Kan Ding in the classroom because the students have a higher level of English. We can play games with them and they all actually look forward to English class. My only difficulties at the school is the fact that the teachers don’t speak English which usually leaves me sitting at my desk in the Teacher’s office eating quietly as everyone else speaks around me. I hope by the end of the year I could just once participate in their conversation during lunch.
I have a similar experience during lunch at my other school, Dian Guang. Although I have a place at the teachers’ table and they make me a plate, I have only been included in the conversation once or twice. I have noticed my Chinese get a little better in that I was able to notice that two of the teachers were talking about my sunburn and I was able to tell them about my weekend. Other than that I will occasionally ask my LET questions during lunch, but then I feel like I am dragging her out of the conversation she probably is enjoying with the other teachers.
Dian Guang is my challenge school. It looked amazing when we visited, crossing off most of what I thought I valued in a school. It was small and manageable, had an aboriginal population, and incorporated environmental science into the school. However, what they didn’t mention was that small is typically only a one-person class meaning that it is very difficult to create a game that is fun for the one student. The way the schedule works out I also miss all the culture classes that I originally chose the school for as well. That has been difficult in changing my perspective and goals as I am no longer able to capture the aboriginal culture I was hoping to film when I came to Taiwan. I think the hardest thing to change and challenge is the students’ both lack of interest and disdain for English. Most of the students do not want to learn English and dread the class. As a result, their English is a lot poorer than that of their sister school, Kan Ding. I teach a class by myself at Dian Guang to the second and first graders, a four-person class. The first graders dislike for English results in the children acting up immensely. It’s actually ironic that the student I have most difficulty with is named Morgan after my sister. At first, I thought it was that he didn’t understand English so I took to translating my instructions and practicing them in Chinese before class. Now I just know he chooses not to listen to me. Instead, he likes to walk around the room playing with a dinosaur or speaking out of turn. It’s frustrating because two of the students in the class actually want to learn, but his behavior keeps me from actually getting through my lesson plan.
Come next Monday, I already have plans for a new behavior check which pretty can be summed up by me bribing the kids to act better to get stamps and stickers. At this point if I can get all the kids to stay seated in my solo class, I will be happy. And maybe, just maybe I will become a better teacher. A teacher that the students might consider for writing Happy Teacher’s Day notes in the future for.
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